Of Serious Sardonicism

OMG. I'm super laughing it off.

Thanks for the de-stress.

Really apt.

You know how sometimes when people keep getting the attention,

all the care and all the love they need?

And suddenly it hits them that they've lost all of that?

Well maybe not all.. but a large extend of it is mostly gone?

Yeah. That's the time where they feel it the most.

FEEL. like... wow. they are actually capable of that.

I know right.

Hide. Go on.

Hide all you want.

Because ultimately you yourself would be the ONLY one who

feels it biting you up inside.

Enjoy eating yourself up from the inside.

Love,

Sarah.

I'm Crazy For You

I've been thinking.

Alot.

Even amongst all my busy FYP stuff

and vid editing,

I've been thinking.

About all the people coming to me...

But ultimately, I want someone who is there,

Not throwing herself at you...

Though bodies to have,

I'd rather emotions.

Ups or downs, I wanna have them.

Well, preferably the ups but anyways it all comes together.

She rolls the window down
And she
Talks over the sound
Of the cars that pass us by
And I don't know why
But she's changed my mind

Would you look at her
She looks at me
She's got me thinking about her constantly
But she don't know how I feel
And as she carries on without a doubt
I wonder if she's figured out
I'm crazy for this girl
Yeah, I'm crazy for this girl

She was the one to hold me
The night
The sky fell down
And what was I thinking when
The world didn't end
Why didn't I know what I know now

Would you look at her
She looks at me
She's got me thinking about her constantly
But she don't know how I feel
As she carries on without a doubt
I wonder if she'll figure out
I'm crazy for this girl
I'm crazy for this girl

Right now
Face to face
All my fears
Pushed aside
And right now
I'm ready to spend the rest of my life
With you

Would you look at her
She looks at me
She's got me thinking about her constantly
But she don't know how I feel
AS she carries on without a doubt
I wonder if she's figured out
I'm crazy for this girl
I'm crazy for this girl

Would you look at her
She looks at me
She's got me thinking about her constantly
But she don't know how I feel
And as she carries on without a doubt
I wonder if she's figured out
I'm crazy for this girl
I'm crazy for this girl

I know you're probably worried about so many things.

Well, be sure I'm always here for you.

I can't say I love you now,

But I can assure you you're constantly on my mind.

It's not that I try, but it just somehow is so.

I'll be here if you wanna talk.

Because behind that front is a beautiful girl that I want to get to know.

I would like to you to be a part of me,

every part of me.

You're not my rebound.

Of this I am sure.

I am happy.

There finally is some closure.

And now i can look at you as just a friend.

I am happy.

There are no regrets.

Having gone through all that "talks" and scoldings.

All just cause of you.

But I'm glad to say,

At least I know I gave my best.

I am happy.

To know maybe you weren't that worth all of that after all.

But still I know for sure,

Love is only told and seen from hind sight.

Nothing ever more could have been given.

And definitely nothing less.

I am happy.

For I did my part.

Tried my best.

And gave my all.

I am happy.

That now I can channel all that for more people around me.

Not forgetting myself.

Self love. That's what I learnt from you.

I am happy.

I had a good year.

Lived it through all ups and downs.

No matter what may happen,

I know there'll be people around who loves and cares.

Maybe even much more than you ever did.

And that sure makes me smile.

Because I feel the love now.

I am happy.

I really am.

I feel no urge that I need you.

Because I realised that all along I was giving.

And now I have no more need of wanting someone to give to.

I have many others to give to,

I have many others to need from.

I am happy.

Why? I wanted to celebrate enjoying my singlehood.

Forget whatever was going on,

Forget whatever happened,

And forget you.

Why? Play these mind fuck games with me?

Who the hell cares?

If someone's arm was being chopped off.

If someone's life was at stake.

If someone was selling tissue for a living.

If someone was rotting.

NO ONE WOULD CARE.

but because it's you.

because of what we used to be.

you know i'd care.

Just cause it aint no just a someone.

Just cause it was you.

Just cause it still is you.

I'm tired.

I want to move on.

So please.

Leave me alone for awhile?

Please.

Because I spend one month trying to forget you.

And some sms comes along out of the blue.

And this sms will keep me fucked up the whole week.

And bring me back to square one.

Exactly right where I was one month ago.

Let me forget.

Because unlike you, I only have myself to pick up my own pieces.

Because unlike you, the darkness that creeps up just before I sleep is the only emptiness I feel.

I want to be cold and nasty.

I want to have no heart or soul.

What a life that would be...

There is one pain I often feel nowadays.

Which you will never know.

Well, let me tell you...

It is caused by the absence of you.

And your heart.

Well, TELL ME.

Tell me when I'm no longer needed

And I SHALL GO.

could i be happy again?

because i know i've just lost happiness.

"Communication is depositing a part of yourself in another person."